I have written this article before 1st January 2023 but due to uncertain circumstances, uploading it now as “Thinking about Last Year and coming New Year”. Let me say it completely.
It's the end of the year again and I'm unable to attend or celebrate any special kind of event. So far, neither the work that was hoped for in the past many years has been done, nor have there been any conditions to arrange any happiness or be happy.
I absolutely do not believe in empty, useless and dreamy phrases like "Good thinking makes good things" and I am saying this after many years of experience. I spent many years reading these self-help, motivational books, listening to programs. They throw you into a fake world from which it becomes difficult to get out. After many years, you find that the change you had hoped for has turned out to be nothing but empty talk, dedication and a sense of superiority that crumbles as high as a wall of sand. falls down. Well I don't want to write more about it.
In the situation, the acquisition of basic things is fine, which includes living, food and drinking. Be it visiting museums, parks, beaches, markets, beautiful places with children or their school and school programs in which they have participated. Similarly, the language classes and tours conducted by them were very good. There was quite a bit of walking around and interacting with people. Also read some books, watch favorite programs, movies, serials, dramas. Created a YouTube channel, launched a website. Intended to write but written a little. In the same way, I talked to a couple of big people in messages and got some new experience in philosophy, history and keeping an eye on the situation. Children are happy so we are, yet still have to get the 'satisfaction' associated with something real or tangible, i.e. papers or "an assurance of forever". So that a person can start something that they want to do. It was Ireland, Sweden then another country and don't know where to stay permanently to start a business in peace, make a strategy for writing and making videos and start implementing it. .
When I came to Ireland in 2013, I waited for the degree to get a job and settle down. I got that job, got another good job, but no further visa, then had to go back because of the child's bad health. Then finding a job to support the family. For responsibilities looking for jobs, standing in big lines for the workers to get the job in filthy Factories.
Let's come to work, friends. Got a job in a factory, One in a Pharma Company, but the salary was very low and the heart was not at all satisfied. Thinking "Where did I return?". In Sweden, also there were self-constraints that I cannot go to any party, cannot do any celebration. Also There was not enough money, no car, no permanent visa. Four years have passed and that ideal time or settling point has not yet arrived. I started a YouTube channel but I don't have the money to buy a good microphone, neither the camera nor the time to read the favorite books and listen to the programs and make a good script to present it. The website has also been built but there is still a lot to do. First of all, writing content, reading books for writing, and even that hobby is not a permanent visa, nor a good source of income. In the same way, maintaining friendship is not the time to talk about the distance and I don't have the heart to talk to old friends.
There are also business ideas, but first one should ensure permanent residence in one place. So the age has passed and I am still not able to celebrate the new year or celebrate any event or celebration. And the circumstances. I don't know what is bad luck, someone's bad prayer, my own laziness, my own negligence, although my heart does not believe in these illusions, but I have not got any opportunities, so everything seems to be true.
I thought I would share something every day, if not every week. I will write two or three times and I wrote with great pride, "You will die if you don't do this" means to be an actor on social media. And did nothing but talk to friends every week. And according to this poem, I have not lived yet. I shared the essays, poetry, university performances from the register written in my youth, and made videos on it, but I hardly had time to write anything new or make already written more good or polish them.
And from the new year again, the same hope that I request it to please let me live my way. Now give me that assurance of permanent residence. Now give me financial freedom so that I can celebrate the next year i.e. 2024 in my way. So from 2023, the same hope that existed from 2013 to 2014, then started from 2018 and not been fulfilled by the end of 2022, may be done by the end of 2023.
Thankyou for reading.
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