I wonder what is this life about; living for eating, drinking, walking, traveling, visiting places, serving already made relationships (parents, uncles, aunties, cousins), making relationships (friendships, marriages etc.), making a living in case if we have to, listening, reading, watching and a lot of verbs of you think of it. and then making memories of those experiences. For some we have pictures and for many we do not have like in my case due to non-availability of the camera or even non-availability of the intention to record or preserve it. Sometimes I feel so inspired, shocked and amazed how great it was.
Like it's a natural tendency with everybody on this earth that whenever he/she thinks about his/her past he finds it better than present only except the time period of past where he/she passed through painful physical or mental suffering. But that negativity of perception also can be changed to positive thinking that it happened, but it is not happening now. Feeling it in any way you can choose. Sometimes, we are surprised by thinking about the past like 'Oh this happened to me?: "How lucky/unlucky I was", "Was it really happened or just a hallucination" and if this is concerned with another human, the percentage of believing in hallucination reduced.
We always regard our past as a golden age. It may be due to the reason: We were children who had no responsibilities, and had to just play. In this sentence the word "have to" can have different impacts on our mind. We can think about it in many ways. One is in a pleasurable way, for example: "I have to taste that delicious pastry which I want to". The other is "I have to taste that pastry which I know may be tasty, maybe bad but presented to me by someone who I cannot refuse ". But for that age of children I think they do not "have to do" but "allowed to do" whatever they want. But later when they grew up they moved from "allowed to" to "have to". Not everybody's destined to agree with this but mostly it is the case. And later in life people are compelled by their "freeSelf" to say that " they can sacrifice all the money, fame and possession just to get that past, that golden age back". It may be like a sentence said in the movie Joker or a song sung by Jagjeet Singh and others that "get from me all my wealth and fame and give me back or return my child age".
And remembering the past is so fascinating that it takes you out from where you are, turns your mind to shooting, relaxing and dragging you to experience a dream-like state. So when I remember my past it leaves me with surprise, astonishment and amazed at how great it was.
If I share the utopia or dream I have is that I should be at a place where I have no responsibilities towards any or if there is I do it not in compulsion but doing it happily. The place where I read books, write what I want , sip the type of liquid I want , eat the food I love, go with people I want and visit places I am fond of ,know places and theories I want to explore etc.
Many say happiness is in giving to others like I saw a movie called ‘Sab se bara Sukh’ meaning the biggest Happiness/ . In that movie 2 friends got wealthy and started their journey to find happiness. They did everything that a human can think of getting joy, pleasure, happiness, laugh, whatever you name it but after experiencing with so many various doings, getting's and experiencing they found happiness in helping others.
If it's helping others, is it impossible for one to make someone happy or solve his or her problem if he or she is deprived of basic needs. According to Maslow's law of hierarchy of needs, the basic needs to be fulfilled first for satisfaction and go forward with mental needs and wants. Acquiring even basic needs does not mean he or she will be happy for a long time . After accomplishment he or she could have some moments or days of happiness but again he or she is bound to feel void. And according to my experience, helping others can make you feel happy about the solution of the problem but it raises more problems when you feel 'this is the tiniest problem i have solved. if i talk about myself i was not in a good position to help others but i needed help more than that. Even if I solve someone's problem and I expect happiness in return, it is superficial. and without expectation it feels like mere work of daily monotonous routine.
I have watched a drama in my childhood. Actually, I want to talk about it here. One was ``sukhan ji wasti' the valley of happiness or satisfaction or whatever you name it. in which a family was traveling from town to town in search of 'sukh' but they never found anywhere and the writer concluded the drama with this phrase 'there is no place in the world, where you get happiness'.
Likewise another drama in which there were 4,5 brothers. One of them was very straightforward. He lived a simple life. He was minimalist. but he got depressed and was admitted to Mental Asylum, a place for mental illness. After some months he became alright and they brought him home. He experienced that his brothers are fighting on property with each other all the time. and it makes the environment so cruel and unable to live for him like he was living peacefully in a mental asylum where he sees nothing of such type . such wars of egos. such trauma out of stress or manmade deprivation. so he decided to become mental again and this was his intention to become like that to go there. Therefore, he feels happy when he leaves his house and starts living in a mental asylum. I often resemble my personality with him. and i remember when my father did the second marriage and after my step sister, he had my step brother . after that I felt so much to ask them this 'i was the only son between 7 daughters so now you got another. please let me go . let me leave your house. it was very strange . I don't know why I am feeling this way. where I will go if I think about practical real meaning. 'So what is happiness? Of course material gain is the must for not only need but it can fulfill your wants. I was deprived and still deprived of money most of the time to even fulfill my needs but I don't know why I am not struggling so hard for that. What is that satisfaction that doesn't incite me to work hard consistently . I cannot assess how I should go for it, which is my need and want also. and can it be called satisfaction that i cannot work on it consistently or its called lethargy or laziness. or I am not finding the perfect way for it. Is there any perfect way?. also as i listen to a phrase in movie 'waking life' what is most influential character of humanity .is it Laziness or Greed but this is the main thing.
But on some criteria, I will oppose it. In our type of society where it is stressed on family system one is obliged to do what the family wants or he is compelled psychologically to person such works or even have to think on the ‘lines provided by his elders. In this way he is helping what his/her family wants and they become happy but he is not. He is trying to escape that mess, that prison, that obligation. If this example is wrong, let me tell you another one. If you help someone without expectation though its hard and many cannot do it until their personality is changed after consumption of Buddhist or Christianity's example of ‘getting slap on other part of face’ )to find it. So I do not think it's helping someone. May it work for someone but not all.
The third and very important dimension is doing what you are supposed to do and this is the hardest thing I ever experienced but just in thinking not in action. It's because i could not due to family responsibilities etc. but i can feel that that is the real hope for getting true happiness. Let me explain it in the next blog.
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